The great Indian wedding is over, the crackers have died down, the pujaris have left, and the guests are slowly driving away. It’s three in the morning, tiredness is settling in, and yet at centre stage, surrounding the new couple are a group of close friends, besties, who continue to shower their love for this new couple with their songs and dancing. The couple continues to smile, although with decreasing participation, and yet the relentless exhaustion of the events of the past few days refuses to be shaken away.
So, how should the besties continue to shower their sincere love for the couple they so love? Should they continue their music and dance in celebration, or should they show their love by understanding and submitting to the internal logic of the Indian wedding that gently demands an end to the celebration so that finally, after months of engagement and formalities between families and the performance of various rituals, the couple is now able to legitimately celebrate their wedding by themselves?
Loving the couple is to respect this internal logic of the great Indian wedding, and to discern how celebration looks like at its different stages. There is a time for the elephant ride, and a time for the crackers, as well as a time for quietness including non-participation. Sometimes celebration is done best by withdrawal and non-celebration, especially at three in the morning on the wedding night. Failing to submit to this internal logic of the wedding even through genuine showers of love, makes the celebration awkward – joy will soon leave the building. If the celebration is truly about the couple, then simply put, their story and time, needs to be celebrated and perhaps in doing so, one might need to stifle and even restrict one’s own performances of celebration.
But we already know this! To an extent, at three in the morning, if a friend is still enthusiastic, you gently tell them to calm down and wind up. We do this all the time, probably in every wedding of your bestie. By doing so, you preserve and enrich the celebration of the love of the couple.
So then, how should we celebrate and venerate the love story of Malikappurathamma and Ayyappa in the temple of Sabarimala? How should we devote ourselves to the celebration of this great Indian love story? If our visit to this temple is truly to celebrate this great love story, then should we not submit to its internal logic? Would true love and devotion require one to restrict from celebrating? Would my presence in spite of being a sincere expression of my love and devotion yet become a distraction making the celebration awkward? What would true devotion and love for these deities require of us?
Just like in the case of the wedding, even in this instance, perhaps you already have your answer.
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